Hello Dubai Ah??

Due apologies, makkale. Due to the cyclone and some consequent technical difficulties, we weren't able to upload this last week. Mostly because theivayaana video engalukku kedaikkavillai. However, indha vaaram, two weeksku sethu sirippai varaveippom endru nambikkaiyudan...

To keep up with current affairs, we have decided that this week's post shall be about, well..
What's four to six inches long and always being grabbed for by a man when he's talking to a pretty girl?
Purila?

Before we're banned for inappropriate content, naangale solrom - the cellphone (the kaipesi)

The 5C route (Taramani to Broadway)

For those are blissfully unaware of what we're talking about, this post is dedicated to (also the bus route from Taramani to Broadway - the 5C. Vengayam vilai yerudho illayo, cellphone vilai mattum koraiyudhunga. (Jaggu still complaining about cigarette prices, is however stoo broke to buy himself new phone)

And so we celebrate the coming of Manisha Koirala. Why Manisha Koirala? Kamal Hassan dhaane madam ah paathu "Sona Sona, nee latest cellular phone ah?" apdinu paadaanru. And that was in 1996. And since then (the pre-Nokia 1100 era) we've been crazy about cell phones. All the way up to the Manisha Koirala a.k.a the iPhone 5c. Basically, cellphone ah vechi seiyaadha kaadhalum illa, comparison-um illa.

What iphone shows as 5C route,
 please find treasure at point X on the way

To take you back to what we stated two posts ago, edhaiyum modha-modhalla use panradhu kaadhalukku dhaan. And so it is the case with cellphones and their bayangramana comparison with relationships. Adhu epdinga? Aadhavan-la (2006) Nayanthara va paathu "nee sirithaal iPhone tring tring" nu ezhudhunaaru? We believe that Pa. Vijay probably asked Nayanthara for directions and found them as bad as iPhone maps that he used the comparison.

But of course, the first memorable use (where the brand was the title of the song itself) was our very own Anniyan's "Kannum Kannum Nokia". We still don't understand what was trying to be achieved by the reference. Although we do think DiamondPearl uncle probably looked around and saw - Nokia phone, Cappuccino, Thermocol sculpture, "apple laptop" - and put them all in the song. (However, the mentions of mafia and atom bombs do beg to contest our theory)

An artist's imaginary perception of Anonymous - after
the many cellular-love-failures

Ithuku Nadula Rendu(2006) innu oru padam release aachu. Adhula Madhavan-um Anushka-vum romba sexy-ah oru song-la adunaanga. Apdinnu naanga sollala, Wiki solluthu. Now that song, written by Anonymous (anonymous because Wiki does not know), was probably one written out of much cellular-love failure experience. Take for instance, (the attempt) - "Mobile ah mobile ah naan enna postpaid an prepaid ah sollu" (yaara eppadi vikkaraaru-nu engalukku innum theriyala). Adutha line (the dreams of success) "Nenjukule kekeuthey nam kathal ringtone ai". And finally, the kadasi line of para - "Subscriber cannot be reached at the moment" - what us Call taxi users now know as "the before number you have dialed is busy..." . Avaru evlo vaati try panniyum, andha figure-ku signal kedaikala pola.

But the crowning pinnacle of all cellphone references - brace yourselves, yen endral, now your mind will be blown out of your head.
<Drum roll>
Inthia blog-ulagil muthal murayaga sila varudangalukku mun velipatta T.Rajendar nadicha padam VEERASAMY-il (2006) oru paadal ulladhu. Ithu youtube-il kuda kedaikaadhadhu, ketu maguzhangal -

 To give change of pace from the usual Yammadi Aathadi style, in this song, the son sings and the father dances. (You suddenly prefer it the other way around, don't you?) However, instead of trying to decipher the song and make funny connections for you, we believe the man (and his son) can speak (and apparently sing and dance) for themselves.

Aana indha paadalukku engalaala video thara mudiyala. But, for those not-so-blissfully ignorant people who have not seen our man's antics,  kavala padatheenga. Ungaluku Thiru. T.R eppadi ellam aaduvaaru-nu kaatrathukaagave -

Click on me to, well, die laughing.

Well, makkaLe because of the cyclonic weather, and absence of enough maamul-collection, we have only this much to offer you. There are many more in the pipeline. But as we mentioned before, engaLoda oosi pona vadaiyum aari pona coffe-um illa na, brain no working. So please, co-operate with with collection. 

Credits:

Kadhai           T.Rajendar

Thiraikadhai    T.Rajendar

Iyakkam         T.Rajendar

Vasanam         T.Rajendar

Paadalgal         T.Rajendar

Isai                   T.Rajendar

Olipadhivu        T.Rajendar

Oh, and before we go, a word from our sponsors -

"Neenga oru vaati vaanginaal, 1100 vaati keezha podalaam!"

Endrendrum pasi-udan,

Jaggu & Sornaakka

Tamil TMZ: Part 1 (Where the sequels just get better, we assure you)

<Disclaimer: The references are not exhaustive (although, exhausting), in spite of the narrow scope we've brought it down to for this post. A number of references haven't been mentioned, which will brought in later>


Vannakkam nail-biting interest udan kaathu kondu irukkum makkaLe,
Indha vaati naanga enna kekapogirom endral, ippo vara paadalgaL-liyum seri, idhukku munnaadi vandha paadalgaL-liyum seri, eppo paarthaalum engeyo irukkura "celebrities" vechi puriyaadha oru connection kudukareengale, idharkku enna kaaranamnu solla mudiyuma? 

(This is  only the beginning, dayavaseidhu post ah Vijay Anthony voice-la padikkaadhinga. Only in Major T Soundarrajan voice - the bilingual God)

Not just ullooru makkaL, foreign location-lindhu kuda naraya vellakaara pasangala, pathi pesirukkom. Sure, the grass is greener on the other side, but adhanaala ipdiya connection panradhu? Ithuku namma TNEB eh parva illaye pa.

Nesapakkathlindu NASA veraikkum ellaraiyum kooptuvechi kalaichi irukom. Basically, our kavignars have very high knowledge of current affairs and international politics, you see. How else would you explain DiamondPearl uncle’s writing “Vaajpaiye varatum paatu ezhudha, Bill Clinton-ah kupidu isai amaika, andha Saddam Hussein paadal padatum”? (Majnu, 2001) What we believe he was trying to say is that, eppidi ivanga moonu peruku nadula peace treaty mudiyaadho, adhey maari Prashanth-kum andha super figure-ukkum, yaaru mama velai paarthaalum, oru paruppu um vegaadhu. But then again, that’s our speculation. (We are currently awaiting his opinion on the Syria situation)

Pongal and Deepavali pattimandram specialist. Rumors
say he will make an appearance on Jay Leno soon!
<JamBazaarJaggu put mai on vethalai and saw>

What these lyrics began to prove though, was that we have a severe obsession with Bill Clinton. Ella SunTv pattimandrathla eppdi Raja irukkanumo,adhey maari ella paatu-liyum Bill Clinton iruppaaru. Not just presence, we researched deeply into his life. Ippo, Laila in Dheena sings "Ennai saxophone pol kayil yendhi Bill Clinton pola vaasi”. After extensive research (sponsored by mallu co-habitors of the Nair kada) we understood that Clinton was a Jazz enthusiast, sax in particular 
- Something even Wikipedia didn't know in 2001. So, yes, we had a thing for Clinton. 

Oops, I did it again!

To give you further proof, we give you Sushmitha Sen’s declaration in Ratchagan in 1997 – “Bill Clinton-in White Housekooda naangaL sendraalae, 'azhagae vaa' ena koorum". Now, remember how we inched towards declaring Vaali to be the Nostradamus of Tamil paatu varigaL? This was, we believe, Vaali talking about Clinton's weakness for women, thus anticipating the Lewinsky scandal of 1998. (Your face is screwed into its WTF expression, isn’t it?)

Making white kurtas and walks
in parks sexy since 1980

Aamanga, ipdi thaan andha naatu president pathi ellaam paadinom. If not president, andha ooru actors, actresses, singers, painters... ellaarum pathi paadnom. Ippo, take Shriya; Thalaivar ah ellaaraiyum vechi ennama compare pannaanga. Sivaji-la thalaivar ah, “"Roger Moore poley dishyum" "Eddy Murphy poley naughty”, “James Bond polseiyum spy thaan”, “Cuba pola oru theeva, ponnu nikkuthey...Castro pola indha maestro sontham kollava? Killava?” ipdi apdi nu, namma superstar nooru peruku samama soltaanga. (Please to the note, Vairamuthu avargal ingayum current affairs knowledge bayangrama use pannirukaaru)


Indha maari artistes illaati, panakaaranga pathi pesuvom. Maribadiyum Laila, “IvaL kanni illa oru kannini endru Bill Gates ai pola nesi” apdinu paaditaanga. (same song) 

An artists depiction of thought process in Pa.Vijay's head

For your "literature" fans, not to disappoint, we've brought in Dan Brown references too. Remember that Pokkiri (2007) song you couldn't stand in spite of Mumait Khan's skin-showing? 
(You might hear "apple", "Ooty", "sweater" in your repressed memories now) Anga avanga enna sonnaanga? "pudhu Da Vinci Code-u da, idhu sarchaiyaana maedu da, nee right solli wrong route-il poda" which gets us wondering if Pa. Vijay had read Dan Brown at all.

And if we’re not talking about Amereeka, we’re talking about the other end. While Vaali and Vairamuthu were interested in all the Bills (and their money bills), namma Vijay Antony avargaL, Dishyum-la, katchi maari, Jeeva-kum Sandhya-kum kalyanatha pathi, “Bin Laden enna solraan paaru” nu keka sonnaaru. (We are still trying to figure out the lyrics of the song, hidden under various levels of encryption. Dailamo dailamo is the name we're using. Somebody please put lyrics no??)

 And these are just the contemporary references. 

Left: President Nixon accepting defeat at the feat
K.T.Kunjumon the producer of the movie Ratchagan has achieved
Right : A jubilant K.T.Kunjumon dressed in the
astronaut uniform he designed 

 If you want to test history, we shall go back to, you guessed it, Vaali-ji. Avaru enna psychedlic ulagathla irundhaaro, Nagma-va paathu "Picasso oviyam thaan, puriyaamal ennudan Texas-il aadivandadhu" nu Kadhalan-la ezhudhunaaru. Not that DiamondPearl uncle was any less competent in his history knowledge. Adhey Ratchagan-la NASA-va asingapadithitaaru. To quote Nagarjuna : "Chandiranai thottadha yaar? Armstrong ah? Sathiyam thottadhu yaar? Naandhaane" apdinu, history-ah rewrite pantaaru. (What a post-modernism, ya) Basically, movie budget was higher than what it cost America to send Armstrong to the moon. Adha surukkkuma soltaaru.


And don't even get us started on the Michaels - George, Jackson, Jordan, Angelo, ellaarum oru attendance pottu poittaanga. Phelps mattum thaan baaki. (Although we feel he might be hidden inside the dubious Dailamo lyrics.) We realize we've not mentioned our vellakaara Gymbody Mr. Arnold (Yaaru da Schwarznegger?). Avaroda references sakkara-dabbala erumbu mathiri - kotti kedaku, Enga enga vandhirukaar-nu naanga compile panni mudichi, medhuva solli veikirom. 

JamBazaarJaggu animated : Ayyo!!! Ippadi mukiyamana
vishayatha miss pannitene
Idhuku thaan cigarette pudichaa ethuvume erathu innu
solrangalo??

Ennanga-ya pasangala pathiye pesureenga; where are the figures? Apdinu neenga keppeenga. Engalakku theriyum. Kavala padaadathey sagothara, all the azhagigaL vechi, naanga oru thani post-ah podrom. (You always need patience with girls. And stamina helps, too.) <To be noted - This was hitherto unknown knowledge to Jaggu, who, at this point in time, was busy complaining about the hike in cigarette prices>

However, cigarette price hike-naala, oosi pona vada, aari pona coffee-ku kuda kaasu illaama, Taramani bus stand-la ninnu, orey beedi-lindhu rendu perum izhuthuttu irukkom. Idhu ungalakke nalla irukka....? Enna solla varomna, if you want to encourage us, do buy us our oosi pona vada and aari pona coffee. Capey Kaapy Dei aunn (Vijaykanth style, you see) ponumnu avasiyame illa. Enga Nair kadai-ke vaanga. (Nair has promised us free vadai an kaapi even if we just bring more customers, so pliss.)

With sincerest hunger pangs,
JamBazaar Jaggu and (Sowcarpetta enthusiast) Sornaakka

P.S. (Porathuku munnadi Solrathu) : Adutha varam vellikizhamai oda topic <Machi, nee solleyn>

our new blog entry in tam

Vanakkum nail biting interest oda kaathukondirukkum makkaLe
வணக்கம்  nail biting interestஓடகாத்துகொண்டு இருக்கும் மக்களே

Indhavaati naanga enna ketkapogirom endraal, ippo vara paadalgaL-liyum seri, idhukku munnaadi vandha paadlgaaL-liyum seri, eppo paarthaalum engeyo irukkura ‘celebrities’ vechi puriyaadha connection-ah kudukoreme, adhukku enna kaaranamnu sollamudiyuma?

இந்தவாட்டி நாங்க என்ன கேட்கபோகிறோம் என்ற இப்போ வர படல்களிளையும் சேரி இதுக்கு முன்னாடி வந்த பாடல்களிளையும் சேரி , எப்போ பார்த்தாலும் எங்கயோ இருக்குற 'celebrities" வெச்சி புரியாத தொடர்புகள்அவே குடுகரீங்கா அதுற்கு என்ன கரணம் இன்னு சொல்ல முடியுமா

VarigaL on the World Wide Valai

Vellikizhamaii Vanakkangal

(Sonna maari release pannrom, engala yaralayum ban panna mudiyathu!)

Like we said, Internetku thaan mudhal mariyaadhai inu decide pannom. So, here goes.

Engalukku oru unmai therinjaaganum - Apdi ennanga this internet business?

Vara vara makkal over ah internet use panraanga. Soru venumna internet, saraku adikanumna internet, suthi valichi pesanumna internet, sight adikanumna internet, solti adikkanumna internet, solti solti adikkira Vijaykanth paakanumna kuda internet.. yen.. Indian latrine use panna therila na, our dear Mr. Wilbur Sargunaraj has made provision for that also on the very holy (you guessed it) internet. But like most new things that come our way, modha-modhalla use pannadhu, kaadhulukku thaan.

Love being the eternal, evergreen, untiring, overdone, kaanjipoi kuppaiya kadakara trope that it is, its always the first interest of any device; internet, computer, cellphone. You see, they say, love is blind, love transcends language and what not. Which might be true. Kaadhal-ku unakku kannu theriyaama irukkulaam, mozhi theriyaama irukkalaam, aana edho oru oorla irukkura theriyaadhu oru ponnu-ku kuda friend request epdi anupanumnu nallave therinji-irukku. (Yes, you FB stalkers. You.) But basically, what we're trying to say is, this internet has become the current medium of choice for the Forever Alone Club, Bro-Zone and Friend-Zone vaasigal. 

And that's where the genius of Vaali lay(the great man to whom we dedicate this post to, btw).

See what I did there!

Avaru 1999 liye predict pantaaru - that internet shall be the new kutti severu. (In fact, Vaali has so many predictions proven right, we feel that he should replace Mr. Ramanan as the face of the Chennai Meteorological dept). Yes, that's right. One of the first significant mentions of the interweb in Tamil lyrics - Oh Maria oh Maria in Kadhalar Dhinam, where he openly declares - "Computer-il kaadhal seyyum kaalam ini". 

Now, if you don't remember the song lyrics, we'll forgive you, you probably weren't able to take your eyes off of this -

But if you hadn't been looking at Rambha's thunder thighs, you'd know what we're talking about - 

"Kadal-ukku fishing net-u, kaadhal-ukku internet-u" nu surukkama kaadhal kurippu kuduthaaru namma kavignar. Which basically is the essence of the song. Yes yes, asking fruit cherries to send him email love letters might get you doubting whether he was hungry or horny, but we assure you, after much research, that it was online dating he was heralding. And not just advice, avaru motivation kuda kuduthaaru - "Manasa vittu, mouse-ah thattu, mattidum padhinettu". 

Seri adha vidunga. Pureera bashai-liye solrom -"Kattazhagukku oru pattiyal katti kaatudhu internet-u"

Adhaiyum soltaaru. Ippayavadhu othukonga ya, Vaali basically won all rights to V.K Ramasaamy's dialogue-

And this started a line of songs - DiamondPearl (Vairamuthu avargal) uncle took Vaali's cue. Two years later, in 2001, for Majnu, he penned - "internet-u season ada, adhil kaadhal solvadhu fashion ada" The same year, in Dheena, Vaali took this to a whole new level - "Kaadhal website ondru, kandeyn kandeyn naanum" (Idhukku thaan over ah yosika kudaadhu, first he saw kaadhal website,then got confused because of kaadhal virus in the next line). But whatever he was on was irrelevant, he got the trend started. 2002 saw Kaadhal Virus, with its title song going -" Kaadhal Virus unnai thaakiyadha?" Now, before you say they were talking about biological virus, we urge you to look at Abbas in the song and decide for yourself. This mellow campaign for the internet kept going on all the way up till, well, Simbu discovered the internet in 2011.

Avaru endha aththai endha thaththai-ah pethangalo nu theriyaama, Vaanam-la veri oda paadnaaru- "Yeven di unna pethaan". Yes yes. Unable to get answers, he followed the popular method of looking things up on the internet. Revelations happened - "En Facebook status-um nee thaan, en twitter tweet-um nee thaan, en skype call-um nee thaan" nu romba feelings ah paadnaaru. And seeing this hopeful response his colleague got, namma iLayathalapathi, in Thuppakki, also decided - "Google google panni paartheyn ulagathila  ivapola inga innoruthi poranthithillai" nu. Paavam, he couldn't find anyone else, so he got stuck with Kajal Agarwal. His only solace being she got stuck with him also. And they decided to occupy the internet till kingdom come - twitter, facebook, ebay, youtube idhu adhu nu, enga ponaalum avanga thollai -nu soltaanga. 

Avangaloda thollai-ku alternative option offer panrathukku thaan, indha paatu pathi ellaam ezhuthulaamnu naanga decide pannom. Appo than oru sudden kooval "Yov tea ku kasu enga" innu nair katha, naanga intha dial-up to dongle discussion ah nirithitu, othai adi paadhai-la escape aittom!

Ippodhiki, that's all folks! Adutha friday meendum varuvom, puthu topic, aana athey usi pona vadai and aari pona coffee!


- Jam Bazaar Jaggu & Sornaakka

The Pillayar Suzhi Post

<Disclaimer : All the topics discussed in the blog below are based on real people and fictitious ideas, only chickens, future chickens and goats (and maybe their grass) were harmed in the making of this blog (sponsored by Muniyandi Vilas, Anjappar and my Thagappar) and  are best read in the voice of Major. T Sundarrajan.>

En iniya tamizh makkale, (No, wait, that was too political)
En iniya periyorgale, thaimargale, thanthaimargale, pillai nenjangale, vellinaatu avargale, ithu ellam enna vendru puriyamal irukkum sila pala Amit avargale, (That's right, we're talking about you.) 

Vanakkam!

Kolgai Vilakkam

"Enna da izhuva ,matter ku va da!!" innu yaravathu koovarathu ku munnadi, 

Myself,  JamBaazarJaggu (a.k.a @SaidapettaKokku) mangalagaramana peyar, 

En saga Miss. Sornaakka (a.k.a @ SolitaryNoise), adha vida mangalagaramaana peyar 

Us two, ek gaav mein...chee. 

Naanga rendu perum oru naal oru Nair tea kadai-la oosi pona vadaiyum, aari pona coffee um kudikum bothu oru thought flash - 

"Machi thamizh padangalla evalovo padalgal irukku, athila vairam um muthu pola pala varigalum iruku, athula evalovo references, itha ellathayum vechi oru blog podalama??" 

Ithu than athipatti oda sari.., sorry intha blog oda sarithram.  

Enga kollu paati chinna vayasulirundhu sonna oru nalla paLakkam - etha ezhuthanlum oru pillayar suzhi pottu thaan ezhuthanum innu. Athey paLakthula enga blog seer odum sirappu odam irukanum innu naanga podara muthal pilayar suzhi 

<Pliss to play appropriate BGM, you know which>

Suzhi pota udan oru periya kelvi 

"Dei etha pathi da first ezhuthalam??" 

<Marubadiyum oru thought flash> 

"Intha blog irukarathuku karanamana internet ah vechi ezhuthalme?" 

Ippadi thaange enagloda first post.... Google geegle ellaam panni paakaadheenga. Ezhudi pottadhuku apram, naangale solrom. Romba kavala padaadheenga. By tradition, naanga friday, friday release panniduvom. (Unless, of course, "political pressure" kicks in). 

Vara vellikalama, ungal arigil ulla url-il, oru amogamaana post veliyida padum endru solli naangal vidaiperuvom.

Nandri. 

Vanakkam. (Yaaru, namma Sun News aunty oda dubbing)

En iniya tamizh makkale, sorry that was too political, eni iniya tamizh padal rasigargale ungal kathugalai meislirkavaika (Early morning Raj TV pattu poti???) , let us wind it down a bit more for all all the people out there who have heard time and again, the melodies, melodrama and manorama the tamil songs have brought to you, this is a compilation of some really awesome, mei silurka veikum facts( a.k.a thathuvam, anaubavingo arayatheengo) about some of the songs that I have heard. Before someone says ennada izhuva na matter ku varen. I am Saidapetta Kokku ennaku  innoru peru iruku Jambazaar Jaggu, en kuda irukanga Sornaka avangaluku innoru peyaru Solitary Noise, etho oru nal oru nair tea kadai la oru rendu musi vaadayum, aari pona coffee um kudi mothu thonuchi "machi namma padangal la evalavo pattu iruku, athula evalova lyrics athulayum evalova references,itha ellathayum makkal ku sollalame??" intha nalla nokatha oda than Musi Pona vadayum aari pona coffee um innu intha blog ah arambichom. Ithu than kolgai vilakkam!


Ellathayum pulayar suzhi oda than arambikkanum innu enga kollu paati ennaku chinna vaasu la sonnanga, intha blog ikkum athu porunthum athanala engala poda mudincha appropriate pullayar suzhi ithu than