Tamil TMZ: Part 1 (Where the sequels just get better, we assure you)

<Disclaimer: The references are not exhaustive (although, exhausting), in spite of the narrow scope we've brought it down to for this post. A number of references haven't been mentioned, which will brought in later>


Vannakkam nail-biting interest udan kaathu kondu irukkum makkaLe,
Indha vaati naanga enna kekapogirom endral, ippo vara paadalgaL-liyum seri, idhukku munnaadi vandha paadalgaL-liyum seri, eppo paarthaalum engeyo irukkura "celebrities" vechi puriyaadha oru connection kudukareengale, idharkku enna kaaranamnu solla mudiyuma? 

(This is  only the beginning, dayavaseidhu post ah Vijay Anthony voice-la padikkaadhinga. Only in Major T Soundarrajan voice - the bilingual God)

Not just ullooru makkaL, foreign location-lindhu kuda naraya vellakaara pasangala, pathi pesirukkom. Sure, the grass is greener on the other side, but adhanaala ipdiya connection panradhu? Ithuku namma TNEB eh parva illaye pa.

Nesapakkathlindu NASA veraikkum ellaraiyum kooptuvechi kalaichi irukom. Basically, our kavignars have very high knowledge of current affairs and international politics, you see. How else would you explain DiamondPearl uncle’s writing “Vaajpaiye varatum paatu ezhudha, Bill Clinton-ah kupidu isai amaika, andha Saddam Hussein paadal padatum”? (Majnu, 2001) What we believe he was trying to say is that, eppidi ivanga moonu peruku nadula peace treaty mudiyaadho, adhey maari Prashanth-kum andha super figure-ukkum, yaaru mama velai paarthaalum, oru paruppu um vegaadhu. But then again, that’s our speculation. (We are currently awaiting his opinion on the Syria situation)

Pongal and Deepavali pattimandram specialist. Rumors
say he will make an appearance on Jay Leno soon!
<JamBazaarJaggu put mai on vethalai and saw>

What these lyrics began to prove though, was that we have a severe obsession with Bill Clinton. Ella SunTv pattimandrathla eppdi Raja irukkanumo,adhey maari ella paatu-liyum Bill Clinton iruppaaru. Not just presence, we researched deeply into his life. Ippo, Laila in Dheena sings "Ennai saxophone pol kayil yendhi Bill Clinton pola vaasi”. After extensive research (sponsored by mallu co-habitors of the Nair kada) we understood that Clinton was a Jazz enthusiast, sax in particular 
- Something even Wikipedia didn't know in 2001. So, yes, we had a thing for Clinton. 

Oops, I did it again!

To give you further proof, we give you Sushmitha Sen’s declaration in Ratchagan in 1997 – “Bill Clinton-in White Housekooda naangaL sendraalae, 'azhagae vaa' ena koorum". Now, remember how we inched towards declaring Vaali to be the Nostradamus of Tamil paatu varigaL? This was, we believe, Vaali talking about Clinton's weakness for women, thus anticipating the Lewinsky scandal of 1998. (Your face is screwed into its WTF expression, isn’t it?)

Making white kurtas and walks
in parks sexy since 1980

Aamanga, ipdi thaan andha naatu president pathi ellaam paadinom. If not president, andha ooru actors, actresses, singers, painters... ellaarum pathi paadnom. Ippo, take Shriya; Thalaivar ah ellaaraiyum vechi ennama compare pannaanga. Sivaji-la thalaivar ah, “"Roger Moore poley dishyum" "Eddy Murphy poley naughty”, “James Bond polseiyum spy thaan”, “Cuba pola oru theeva, ponnu nikkuthey...Castro pola indha maestro sontham kollava? Killava?” ipdi apdi nu, namma superstar nooru peruku samama soltaanga. (Please to the note, Vairamuthu avargal ingayum current affairs knowledge bayangrama use pannirukaaru)


Indha maari artistes illaati, panakaaranga pathi pesuvom. Maribadiyum Laila, “IvaL kanni illa oru kannini endru Bill Gates ai pola nesi” apdinu paaditaanga. (same song) 

An artists depiction of thought process in Pa.Vijay's head

For your "literature" fans, not to disappoint, we've brought in Dan Brown references too. Remember that Pokkiri (2007) song you couldn't stand in spite of Mumait Khan's skin-showing? 
(You might hear "apple", "Ooty", "sweater" in your repressed memories now) Anga avanga enna sonnaanga? "pudhu Da Vinci Code-u da, idhu sarchaiyaana maedu da, nee right solli wrong route-il poda" which gets us wondering if Pa. Vijay had read Dan Brown at all.

And if we’re not talking about Amereeka, we’re talking about the other end. While Vaali and Vairamuthu were interested in all the Bills (and their money bills), namma Vijay Antony avargaL, Dishyum-la, katchi maari, Jeeva-kum Sandhya-kum kalyanatha pathi, “Bin Laden enna solraan paaru” nu keka sonnaaru. (We are still trying to figure out the lyrics of the song, hidden under various levels of encryption. Dailamo dailamo is the name we're using. Somebody please put lyrics no??)

 And these are just the contemporary references. 

Left: President Nixon accepting defeat at the feat
K.T.Kunjumon the producer of the movie Ratchagan has achieved
Right : A jubilant K.T.Kunjumon dressed in the
astronaut uniform he designed 

 If you want to test history, we shall go back to, you guessed it, Vaali-ji. Avaru enna psychedlic ulagathla irundhaaro, Nagma-va paathu "Picasso oviyam thaan, puriyaamal ennudan Texas-il aadivandadhu" nu Kadhalan-la ezhudhunaaru. Not that DiamondPearl uncle was any less competent in his history knowledge. Adhey Ratchagan-la NASA-va asingapadithitaaru. To quote Nagarjuna : "Chandiranai thottadha yaar? Armstrong ah? Sathiyam thottadhu yaar? Naandhaane" apdinu, history-ah rewrite pantaaru. (What a post-modernism, ya) Basically, movie budget was higher than what it cost America to send Armstrong to the moon. Adha surukkkuma soltaaru.


And don't even get us started on the Michaels - George, Jackson, Jordan, Angelo, ellaarum oru attendance pottu poittaanga. Phelps mattum thaan baaki. (Although we feel he might be hidden inside the dubious Dailamo lyrics.) We realize we've not mentioned our vellakaara Gymbody Mr. Arnold (Yaaru da Schwarznegger?). Avaroda references sakkara-dabbala erumbu mathiri - kotti kedaku, Enga enga vandhirukaar-nu naanga compile panni mudichi, medhuva solli veikirom. 

JamBazaarJaggu animated : Ayyo!!! Ippadi mukiyamana
vishayatha miss pannitene
Idhuku thaan cigarette pudichaa ethuvume erathu innu
solrangalo??

Ennanga-ya pasangala pathiye pesureenga; where are the figures? Apdinu neenga keppeenga. Engalakku theriyum. Kavala padaadathey sagothara, all the azhagigaL vechi, naanga oru thani post-ah podrom. (You always need patience with girls. And stamina helps, too.) <To be noted - This was hitherto unknown knowledge to Jaggu, who, at this point in time, was busy complaining about the hike in cigarette prices>

However, cigarette price hike-naala, oosi pona vada, aari pona coffee-ku kuda kaasu illaama, Taramani bus stand-la ninnu, orey beedi-lindhu rendu perum izhuthuttu irukkom. Idhu ungalakke nalla irukka....? Enna solla varomna, if you want to encourage us, do buy us our oosi pona vada and aari pona coffee. Capey Kaapy Dei aunn (Vijaykanth style, you see) ponumnu avasiyame illa. Enga Nair kadai-ke vaanga. (Nair has promised us free vadai an kaapi even if we just bring more customers, so pliss.)

With sincerest hunger pangs,
JamBazaar Jaggu and (Sowcarpetta enthusiast) Sornaakka

P.S. (Porathuku munnadi Solrathu) : Adutha varam vellikizhamai oda topic <Machi, nee solleyn>